Queen Elizabeth II's death and our own personal grief

As we navigate the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, many people are reflecting on their own thoughts about loss and grief. The death of her Majesty is opening up conversations about a life well lived, about frailty and how death is inevitable, and also about loss. I listened to BBC Radio 6 on Sunday as people called in with their memories of the elders in their families. Queen Elizabeth was described as the grandparent of the nation and the many shared stories being told, held some common threads.

People were relating her death to the loss to someone of their own, it was reminding them of a loved one they knew, somone older who was no longer with them.

People were telling the most simple stories about the things they missed about those who had died. The pressing of coins into tiny hands from grandparents, stale biscuits and jelly shared with affection , terrible jokes and afternoons playing darts. All the stories were unique and intimate, the sharing of inner thoughts and memories.

People expressed how they could relate to the Royal family, because they had lost someone too, and that person was a Mother and Grandmother as well as a Queen. People spoke of being connnected through the idea of loss and grief.

As a Celebrant who writes unique ceremonies for people, I can relate to this, when familes share stories for a celebration of life they are often very intimate and personal. Perhaps the act of national mourning has created an open space in which to talk about our own loss, in whatever way it affects us. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The loss being experienced by another family can ripple across into our own memories, awakening our own feelings about the people we miss, however we miss them. Hopefully this opportunity to talk about death, and grief will open a door to these sorts of conversations for people who still finds these subjects a little taboo.